I am only one part of this story. My daughter’s birth mother is another. Many people and moments are woven into this beautiful journey, but the full story belongs to my daughter, Remi, and to God.

I believe this story was authored by God Himself. It exists because of what I call the third choice: adoption.

Our culture often tells women that when they find out they are pregnant, they have only two options: have the baby or have an abortion. But there is a third choice: adoption, a choice rooted in life and love.

Adoption can bring beauty, peace, and healing to everyone involved. I feel deeply honored and grateful to share how God brought every person and every piece of this story together in His perfect time. Remi’s birth mother gave me her blessing to share this journey from my perspective. Her exact words were, “Please, please tell it all. No matter what, tell everything.”

Every adoption story follows its own unique path. Each one is a complex weaving of people, choices, and moments, with God’s sovereign hand guiding it all in ways only He can.

Looking back on our journey, I am still amazed by all the pieces that fit together: the people, the prayers, the waiting, and the doors that opened and closed. Every step led to the miracle God had prepared for our family, our precious daughter, Remi, our answered prayer and dream come true.

The Calling

After having four biological children, one right after the other, I was certain our family was complete. Life felt full, busy, and beautiful.

But when our youngest son was still a toddler, something unexpected began stirring in my heart. It was quiet at first, but it grew stronger over time. I felt as if God was gently telling me that He was not finished with our family yet.

The idea of adoption began to grow inside me. What started as a small thought slowly became a dream. Then the dream became a prayer. Eventually, it became a calling I could not ignore.

Over the next seven years, that calling never went away. It stayed with me through every season.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie Babe: “Little ideas that tickle and nag and refuse to go away should never be ignored. For in them lie the seeds of destiny.”

That quote perfectly describes how adoption lived in my heart during those years. It was a small voice that kept whispering, reminding me that there was still a child meant to join our family.

You can also listen to Tammy share this story on The Healing in Sharing podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1771834/episodes/19015448

Birth Moms

One thing I know with absolute certainty is that birth mothers do not receive enough honor for their role in the miracle of adoption.

You rarely hear society talk about them. Their courage, their sacrifice, their love—it often goes unseen or unrecognized.

I look at my daughter’s birth mother as a hero in my life. Truly, I see her as an angel.

I cannot begin to imagine the emotions her heart must have carried as she faced the decision she did. What I do know is that she is one of the most selfless and courageous people I have ever known.

Through Remi, our lives are forever connected. There is a bond there that words cannot fully explain. She holds a place in my heart that God created specifically for her.

There are moments and conversations we have shared that will stay with me forever.

And when Remi experiences something special—when she accomplishes something, shows kindness to someone in need, or reveals the beautiful character growing inside her—I feel what I call a double proud-mom moment.

One for me, and one for her birth mother.

Because Remi’s story belongs to both of us in different ways, and the love surrounding her is something truly extraordinary.

The Waiting

There is a lyric from a Tom Petty song that says, “The waiting is the hardest part.” Anyone who has walked through adoption knows just how true that is.

From the moment God placed the dream of adoption in my heart until the moment He placed Remi in my arms, nearly seven years passed.

Those seven years were filled with:

• Prayers for guidance
• Research into different types of adoption
• Closed doors and moments of discouragement
• Conversations about faith and trust
• Learning to surrender control to God’s timing

Each step prepared our hearts for the daughter God had already chosen for us.

We explored different options. Should we pursue overseas adoption? Should we work with a local agency? The decisions sometimes felt overwhelming. We didn’t always know where God was guiding us, but we knew in our hearts that He was calling us to move forward.

During this time, my husband bore the burden of protecting our family. He was worried about the chance of heartbreak or disappointment. Adoption demands immense faith, and for him, it meant relinquishing control to something uncertain.

Eventually, it was my husband who felt drawn to pursue domestic adoption within our community. Looking back, I truly believe God placed that direction in his heart to give him peace and confidence in the journey.

By this time, I had been praying for a child through adoption for over five years, and I felt like we hadn’t made any progress. I asked God to please remove the desire for another child if it wasn’t from Him and wasn’t His plan for our family. I let it all go in that moment, crying and thanking Him for the family He had already given me. I told Him that He had blessed me beyond measure. I made peace with surrendering that calling in my heart.

That was a HARD PRAYER.

But the next morning, I woke up knowing it was going to happen.

I felt a peace in my heart that I still cannot fully explain. Deep down, I knew adoption was going to happen. The calling had not come from me. It had come from God.

What I understand now is that we waited nearly seven years for Remi because God knew from the very beginning that she was our daughter. He knew exactly when and how our paths would cross.

Along the way, He closed the wrong doors, nudged us in the right directions, placed people in our lives who would help us, and strengthened our faith through every step.

It was not just a waiting season. It was a preparation season.

Looking back now, I see the beauty in God’s timing. If we had given up when things felt impossible, we would have missed the miracle He had already planned.

Yes, the waiting was hard.

But sometimes the waiting is simply God’s way of preparing the right moment for something extraordinary to arrive.

I leave you with this scripture:

“He decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.”

Ephesians 1:5

~Tammy Tuttle

To hear Tammy share this story in her own words, listen to her episode on The Healing in Sharing podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1771834/episodes/19015448

You don’t have to carry it alone. Start with a conversation.

The post The Third Choice: A Story of Faith, Waiting, and Adoption appeared first on The Healing in Sharing.

Teen Dating Violence Signs: A Survivor Shares

Teen dating violence is more common than many realize.

Conversations like the one with Michelle Garcia from Serene Harbor help us understand the patterns, the warning signs, and the language around it.

But Theresa’s story shows us something different.

Roughly 1 in 3 teens in the United States will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults.

Listen to Theresa’s full episode:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1771834/episodes/18785498

National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Call or text 800-799-7233 (SAFE)
Chat at thehotline.org
Available 24/7, confidential, and free

A Life That Looked Steady… Until It Wasn’t

Theresa’s story begins in a place that feels steady and familiar.

She was raised in a well-structured home with attentive parents. She excelled in school and developed a passion for art with the support of a teacher who believed in her.

There was guidance. There was stability.
There was a clear way forward.

And then, slowly… things began to shift.

When Something Starts to Feel Off

It didn’t happen all at once.

It began with a new friendship, someone who motivated her to push boundaries and try things she normally wouldn’t.

And then she met him.

At first, he seemed kind and respectful; a person parents would approve of.

But as time went on, something began to change.

What once felt like attention started to feel different.

More intense.
More controlling.
Harder to ignore.

Teen Dating Violence Signs We Don’t Always See

At first, it didn’t look like abuse.

It seemed like someone eager to be close and wanting to spend as much time with her as possible.

He became more possessive, more controlling, and more aware of where she was, who she was talking to, and what she was doing.

In public, it didn’t always look obvious.

What appeared to be an arm around her…
was control.

Guiding her on where to go, who to avoid, and how to behave.

And gradually, without even noticing, her world started to shrink.

She saw her friends less and felt watched.

What to Pay Attention To

These are often the early teen dating violence signs that go unnoticed.

• Constantly texting or needing to know their whereabouts
• Drifting away from friends or family
• Being afraid to upset their partner
• Being told what to wear, say, or do
• Sudden shifts in confidence or behavior
• Frequently apologizing or blaming others for things they didn’t do
• Losing interest in activities they once enjoyed
• Constantly checking in to avoid conflict

Listen to the episode with Michelle and Serene Harbor:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1771834/episodes/10062140

How to Start the Conversation

If something feels wrong, you don’t need perfect words.

You just need to be present.

You can start with:
• “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a little different lately. Want to talk?”
• “You can tell me anything. You’re not in trouble.”
• “How are things really going with them?”
• “I’m here to listen, not judge.”
• “If something doesn’t feel right, we can figure it out together.”

Sometimes the goal isn’t to fix it.

It’s meant to create a space where they feel safe enough to speak.

When Boundaries Are Broken

There are moments in life that divide everything into before and after.

For Theresa, that moment arrived one night when the boundaries that should have protected her… were shattered.

It was a violation of her safety, her trust, and her sense of control.

It came from someone she once trusted.

It went deep.

Into her sense of self.
Her voice.
Her future.

Even the things that once brought her joy, like her artwork and her expression, were affected.

What Happens After Survival

What comes after something like this isn’t always clear.

There isn’t always a clear roadmap.
There isn’t always immediate support.

For Theresa, survival meant doing what she could in the moment.

She cleaned up.
She kept it to herself.

Eventually, she found the strength to seek help.

She spoke with a female police officer who met her with empathy and care.

But by then, the options were limited.

After showering and discarding her clothes, little evidence remained to proceed as the system required at that moment.

But she was not entirely alone.

There were still people.

An art teacher who appeared when it mattered.
A way forward through school.

Not all at once.

But piece by piece.

Because healing doesn’t always start with big moments.

Sometimes it starts with continuing.

Healing Through Expression

Healing didn’t happen overnight.

It came through creating.

Through art.

But it didn’t appear the same.

Her style started to shift. The colors darkened. The strokes grew bolder, more textured, and raw.

She transitioned from soft watercolor to bold acrylics, shifting from gentle brushes to palette knives.

More honest.

Her art served as a way to express what she couldn’t say aloud.

A way to let out what had nowhere else to go.

And during that process, something started to change.

Not all at once.
Not perfectly.

Because healing sometimes happens without words.

Sometimes, it reveals itself through what we create.

When the Body Remembers

Even when life starts to move forward… the body can still cling to what happened.

For Theresa, the impact extended beyond that night.

It appeared in ways she couldn’t always explain.

Migraines that would come and go.
Pain that would intensify throughout the day.

Back then, there weren’t many talks about how trauma resides in the body.

So she pushed through, kept going, and did what she needed to do.

But years later, the link became clearer.

What we carry doesn’t always vanish.

Sometimes it settles quietly until it finds a way to be felt.

Because you can be strong, moving forward, and still feel the effects of something your body hasn’t fully released.

Strength, Faith, and Moving Forward

Strength doesn’t always appear the way we expect.

For Theresa, it wasn’t loud.
It wasn’t immediate.

Through faith.
Through small decisions.
Through choosing to keep moving forward, even when it isn’t easy.

She describes forgiveness not as forgetting…but as releasing what no longer should control her life.

Avoid letting fear guide you. Avoid letting the past dictate every choice.

And simultaneously, she carries what she’s learned.

She remains alert. She monitors her environment. She relies on her instincts.

Because healing doesn’t involve ignoring what occurred.

It means figuring out how to move forward with it without letting it take everything from you.

For Those Listening, Watching, or Wondering Quietly

If there’s one thing this story emphasizes, it’s this:

You are allowed to speak.
You are allowed to question what doesn’t feel right.
You are allowed to ask for help.

And if you’re a parent, mentor, or someone who deeply cares for a young person:

Your presence is more important than having perfect words.

Sometimes the strongest thing you can say is:

I’m here for you. You can share anything.

One Moment Does Not Define Your Life

One night.
One moment.
A lifetime of impact.

But not a lifetime of definition.

Theresa’s story is about what happens next.

The rebuilding.
The strength.
The quiet decision to keep going.

There remains a way ahead.

You can find more stories and support at The Healing in Sharing podcast.

https://www.thehealinginsharing.com/

The post How Do You Know If Your Teen Is in an Unsafe Relationship? A Survivor Opens Up Decades Later appeared first on The Healing in Sharing.