The Third Choice

I am only one part of this story. My daughter’s birth mother is another. Many people and moments are woven into this beautiful journey, but the full story belongs to my daughter, Remi, and to God.

I believe this story was authored by God Himself. It exists because of what I call the third choice: adoption.

Our culture often tells women that when they find out they are pregnant, they have only two options: have the baby or have an abortion. But there is a third choice: adoption, a choice rooted in life and love.

Adoption can bring beauty, peace, and healing to everyone involved. I feel deeply honored and grateful to share how God brought every person and every piece of this story together in His perfect time. Remi’s birth mother gave me her blessing to share this journey from my perspective. Her exact words were, “Please, please tell it all. No matter what, tell everything.”

Every adoption story follows its own unique path. Each one is a complex weaving of people, choices, and moments, with God’s sovereign hand guiding it all in ways only He can.

Looking back on our journey, I am still amazed by all the pieces that fit together: the people, the prayers, the waiting, and the doors that opened and closed. Every step led to the miracle God had prepared for our family, our precious daughter, Remi, our answered prayer and dream come true.

The Calling

After having four biological children, one right after the other, I was certain our family was complete. Life felt full, busy, and beautiful.

But when our youngest son was still a toddler, something unexpected began stirring in my heart. It was quiet at first, but it grew stronger over time. I felt as if God was gently telling me that He was not finished with our family yet.

The idea of adoption began to grow inside me. What started as a small thought slowly became a dream. Then the dream became a prayer. Eventually, it became a calling I could not ignore.

Over the next seven years, that calling never went away. It stayed with me through every season.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie Babe: “Little ideas that tickle and nag and refuse to go away should never be ignored. For in them lie the seeds of destiny.”

That quote perfectly describes how adoption lived in my heart during those years. It was a small voice that kept whispering, reminding me that there was still a child meant to join our family.

You can also listen to Tammy share this story on The Healing in Sharing podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1771834/episodes/19015448

Birth Moms

One thing I know with absolute certainty is that birth mothers do not receive enough honor for their role in the miracle of adoption.

You rarely hear society talk about them. Their courage, their sacrifice, their love—it often goes unseen or unrecognized.

I look at my daughter’s birth mother as a hero in my life. Truly, I see her as an angel.

I cannot begin to imagine the emotions her heart must have carried as she faced the decision she did. What I do know is that she is one of the most selfless and courageous people I have ever known.

Through Remi, our lives are forever connected. There is a bond there that words cannot fully explain. She holds a place in my heart that God created specifically for her.

There are moments and conversations we have shared that will stay with me forever.

And when Remi experiences something special—when she accomplishes something, shows kindness to someone in need, or reveals the beautiful character growing inside her—I feel what I call a double proud-mom moment.

One for me, and one for her birth mother.

Because Remi’s story belongs to both of us in different ways, and the love surrounding her is something truly extraordinary.

The Waiting

There is a lyric from a Tom Petty song that says, “The waiting is the hardest part.” Anyone who has walked through adoption knows just how true that is.

From the moment God placed the dream of adoption in my heart until the moment He placed Remi in my arms, nearly seven years passed.

Those seven years were filled with:

• Prayers for guidance
• Research into different types of adoption
• Closed doors and moments of discouragement
• Conversations about faith and trust
• Learning to surrender control to God’s timing

Each step prepared our hearts for the daughter God had already chosen for us.

We explored different options. Should we pursue overseas adoption? Should we work with a local agency? The decisions sometimes felt overwhelming. We didn’t always know where God was guiding us, but we knew in our hearts that He was calling us to move forward.

During this time, my husband bore the burden of protecting our family. He was worried about the chance of heartbreak or disappointment. Adoption demands immense faith, and for him, it meant relinquishing control to something uncertain.

Eventually, it was my husband who felt drawn to pursue domestic adoption within our community. Looking back, I truly believe God placed that direction in his heart to give him peace and confidence in the journey.

By this time, I had been praying for a child through adoption for over five years, and I felt like we hadn’t made any progress. I asked God to please remove the desire for another child if it wasn’t from Him and wasn’t His plan for our family. I let it all go in that moment, crying and thanking Him for the family He had already given me. I told Him that He had blessed me beyond measure. I made peace with surrendering that calling in my heart.

That was a HARD PRAYER.

But the next morning, I woke up knowing it was going to happen.

I felt a peace in my heart that I still cannot fully explain. Deep down, I knew adoption was going to happen. The calling had not come from me. It had come from God.

What I understand now is that we waited nearly seven years for Remi because God knew from the very beginning that she was our daughter. He knew exactly when and how our paths would cross.

Along the way, He closed the wrong doors, nudged us in the right directions, placed people in our lives who would help us, and strengthened our faith through every step.

It was not just a waiting season. It was a preparation season.

Looking back now, I see the beauty in God’s timing. If we had given up when things felt impossible, we would have missed the miracle He had already planned.

Yes, the waiting was hard.

But sometimes the waiting is simply God’s way of preparing the right moment for something extraordinary to arrive.

I leave you with this scripture:

“He decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.”

Ephesians 1:5

~Tammy Tuttle

To hear Tammy share this story in her own words, listen to her episode on The Healing in Sharing podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1771834/episodes/19015448

You don’t have to carry it alone. Start with a conversation.